freed
New Member
Posts: 5
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Post by freed on Mar 5, 2024 16:25:12 GMT
There is a place
On the horizon
That I need
To walk to
But there’s sun
In my eyes
And my legs are
Weighed down with
Iron filings in a sack
Last night’s dream
Comes back with a
Weirdness
and
I still have had no coffee
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Post by Ex Animo on Mar 5, 2024 18:16:35 GMT
Hey there! Thank you for sharing this. I think the descriptions echo a real sense of fatigue - whether that be personal or worldly is not really for the reader to know. I was taken with the line "last night's coffee comes back with a weirdness" because it really amplifies this idea of those little thoughts that happen throughout the day that we never really share, they just happen, and that adds this really human element to those kind of thoughts. Thanks for sharing this, it's a fine start
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